Forget a lot many dreams, what about just one dream, how a normal, average family can fulfill just one of her random wishes.
When I watched the movie “KAPPELA” (Malayalam), it triggered my thoughts. How a girl from a small town comes to a city just to meet a stranger. Strangely she confesses her dreams to an unknown person and only her friend to see a beach. And then she ends up in troubles unimaginable.
Why couldn’t she even ask her parents?
Why she had to even depend on a guy from outside or someone, not her family?
The movie also portrays the scene when the father beats up the little sister, without even asking her an explanation, assuming that she did wrong. Does really beating up, bring up the right kind of well-behaved, girl child. No, you can also instill trust in them, a feeling that no matter what, happens, their parents are strong enough to support them.
Why does a little baby, clings to their mother, all the time, because it trusts the mother. A caregiving hand, which protects her, the baby can even blindly cling to its mom, no matter what happens, because it knows, that protection is intact. But as it grows up, the child loses that grip with the parents, when it was abandoned even once for a single moment knowingly or unknowingly.
Restore that trust in your child, else you lose them.
Is it a mistake or a strict parenting method?
I do not know. But I feel that it is important for families to give space to their kids to explain their dreams, desires, and needs. Else kids have a tendency to walk to a stranger, who might be a danger or a blessing.
It is not about a city or town, parents who are so glued to their work-life forget that their children for whom they are brooding all the money for, also want them to talk to them and share some time with them.
We can see parents are mostly hardworking and spending each penny carefully, but they are too strict with the kids that make them much more vulnerable. Parents assume that being strict is good, but sometimes, they need to place themselves in their kid’s minds and see what they might need from you.
Some parents, they beat up the girl child, for just talking to boys. Talking never harms or causes any problem, but the child begins to wonder why she was beaten up for doing nothing. This gets rooted in her mind. And since the human mind is more inclined to do wrong things (labeled by society), they tend to do it much more to agitate their anger and frustration.
The child becomes secluded and stops sharing even the tiniest desire they have because they are scared of being judged or scolded or even punished. They start to hide, as their tiniest desires are never being heard and then begins the time when they find their own way out.
Parenting is hard and complicated. , but not impossible.
Be the parent who can help the child open up to you than anyone else. Be the friend who they need and want.
Most of the girls tend to be quiet and start to hide everything from the parents, when they feel that they are judged. Be the one who listens to her dream or even walks with her to fulfill it. We may not know what things pop up in life, but always, be a good listener. Listen to your child’s argument before jumping into the conclusion. Open up for a healthy discussion- means a clear wheel of conversation wherein you just don’t talk alone but discuss and let the other person put in their share of words too.
Your child may be small, but learn to give your ear to them. Once ignored, they are never going to back.