Recently, I had a reminiscence moment when I visited my neighbor.
To remind you, I am mostly quite reluctant to take other babies. Call it my worry that I might lead the baby to cry or maybe because I overthink a lot about not handling the baby ( in spite of being a mother twice). I recall having this problem from the very beginning and it did subside a little when I actually held my cousin’s little baby back when I was in 9th standard.
Basically, in short, I was reluctant to take any baby. Most often I have avoided. People might look at me strangely, but oh,, I have never been bothered about it.
When I held my neighbor’s child, in my arms. I was not actually looking at her- but all I was wandering through those momentous time , when I first held my daughters in my arms. It went in my head like a quick recap.
First 9 years back, the moment I held my first one, and when she grows up suddenly, then finally my little one in my arms. To the yawning baby in my arms, all I could reciprocate was a smile, which was the aftereffect of the fondest memory drive I had.
It was fun, even if it was short-lived.
Even though I had been through those moments, I just felt like re-living them again. To witness, they sleep, eat, grow, smile everything… I just don’t want to miss it for anything in the whole world.
Growing old seemed like a swift journey with kids around. Until then, everything seemed to be slow, but with them along, time began to slip away from my hands.
All I get is these moments to hold on for a lifetime as a mom. Perfect or not, All I want is them – my daughters my heaven.