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I played with my life

Procrastinating everything I ever wanted to

Forgetting that time never waits for us

Everything I ever wanted I turned down

at a later stage

A stage which I never reached

where I could accomplish what I loved

Doing and neglecting my needs

My passion, My love, my interest

all dug under my responsibilities

I forgot to live but just breath to  survive





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Fear of losing

Fear that engulfs my thoughts

Fear of being not me

Fear of being away from all I love

Fear that conquers my goals

I wish to be away from reality

Close my eyes, forget the world

forget the impressions I want to put on 

Forget my flaws, my perfections

Just be me for a while

venting out my anger on everything

punish me for my faults

to accept reality and live in it 

without dropping a tear 

Is it possible?

No, or never

I do not know

yet I keep trying

like I do every day

but I have to live

Live and finish my life 

like everyone else does




Mistakes are painful

Did I do wrong?

Wrong things at every stage

the mistake of walking my way 

leaving my heart with you

and walk into a life like a lifeless rock

living becomes painful

darkness witnessing the pain

that is unspeakable in the light

Life is beautiful with you

yet I chose a life that I could make beautiful

for others to live

leaving me in pain in disguise

it is like I live  like a pendulum

atop a sharp stretch of knifes 

that will take my life

as I fall off slipping away

My life becomes, a life for others

and not mine forever.


I do not want perfections

I do not want perfections

I wanna be completely imperfect

with lots of flaws 

that makes me complete with you

I want to imperfect

so you make me perfect 

I want to the lock and key with you

to let me imperishable in your heart

It hurts me every second

the breath without you

my world becomes suffocating

without you in me 

Make my world perfect 

Life without you is becoming impossible.